Maths Atheist???

Haha.. thanx for the mail! =P

Hmm... trying to relax.. or am I relaxing a bit too much...? =P

Things that are on my mind now..

1. I have not been meeting my quota (i mean my blog) lately.. That's the first quota.
   
2. Second quota, I failed to meet my quota like what I did last sem -- more than 10 hours once I 'got into action'. Well, just forget about meeting it! Perhaps I should try doing it next sem.. hope itz not too late.
   
3. Having some slight stupid depression.. kinda blue..
   
4. Hmm, partly because of the stupid exam which is going to start on 8th Nov and I still haven't finish stuyding any of the 6 subjects.. 'Perish'..
5. Facing some stupid problems.. 'Perish'..
   
6. Winter Sonata.. stupid drama, but still I watch it... haih...
   
7. Leehom's song - Ai chuo(wrong love).. Itz NOT a stupid song. Itz on my mind, have been looping it for more than 90 times since last wednesday.. reaching 100 now. Say I m crazy.. up to you.
8. Camp cam.. dunno why, suddenly the post camp syndrome reattacked. I have been thinking about campcam. I remembered the things I did with the rest of the nerinuts, our conversations, my discoveries.. I just missed the time up there. Good memories.
9. But... Why.. why do I always like to look back at my past and dwell in it so much?
10. Well, these few nights - some stupid funny dreams. Itz a pleasant ones, but.. too much la.. If this continues.. 'Perish'...
    

Still listening to Ai chuo..
Well, have enuf of thinking.. have to save some 'brain power' to do my calculus 2...

Meaningless..

Gosh....
...
...
2 weeks more...
...
...
Itz my holiday ~~~ yay ~~~ !!!

But.. first, I have to settle my greatest enemy.. EXAM.... aww....

Perhaps, I should say that EXAM is such a good friend of mind.. I'm compelled to study because of this friend.. I so so so 'happy' to study all the notes, be it the pentaksiran notes, or psychology notes, or maths asas tutorials, or probability tutorials, or calculus 2 tutorials.... Itz such a 'pleasant' thing to study them. They have brought me such great 'joy', even during classes.. haih, whatever..

Well, I missed out one.. the one n only subject that I like this sem(I mean I memang suka la) -- cytogenetics and organisation of genome. Tengok, namanya pun dah canggih-manggih.. apatah lagi benda-benda yang perlu saya belajar....

OOOooppss.. started to get a bit crappy..

Haih.. whatever la..

My Friend went missing...!! T_T

On 10/19/06, kuan ho alvin tang < alvintangkh@gmail.com> wrote:
please help to circulate.
my sister went missing in Kam San Complex, Ipoh since yesterday afternoon.

please inform me if any info at 012 3171383 or 017 3321883

Alvin.

Have you seen her????


Tang Kuan Yee, 21 years old.

I think this is one of her recent photos.

I got the news of her went missing on friday morning. I wasn't sure about that until I read the newspaper..

I am lost for words..

I dunno what to say..

I m feeling terrible..

Pls pray for my friend, that they will be able to find her..

Pls pray...

Pls pray...

Pls pray...

Lord.. be merciful to my friend.. T_T

I don't know why..

I dunno why..

My heart was overwhelmed with sadness.. grief.. Something struck me.. I was thinking.. thinking.. and thinking..

I think God must be grieving.. the gift that He offered to mankind -- Salvation thru Jesus Christ, was being thrown aside and despised..
Imagine, your dad gave a gift, hoping that you will appreciate it, treasure it.. who knows, you received it, but with a 'one-kind' look and just threw it into the dustbin.. how would your dad feel?? You are rejecting your dad's gift.. and you are actually rejecting your dad and his love for you. That kind of pain that struck me when someone shared this illustration during camp cam.. it stayed in my heart.. God grieves..

I dunno why..

My heart was overwhelmed with sadness.. grief.. Something struck me.. and here I am.. thinking.. thinking.. and thinking..

I think many a times, we grieved our Dad.. we take for granted a lot of things.. many a times, we forgot what it means to follow Christ.. we call Jesus our Saviour.. and yet, we struggle like mad to allow Him to be the Lord of our lives..

One thing I learned, following Christ means you have no right to say what you want to do in your life. You wipe away all your goals -- goals that you used to have.. You have no more ambition of your own. "He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them." 2 Cor. 5:15. My Daddy really taught me lessons just on this one thing. Itz such a humbling experience that has broken me into pieces. Shattered. Crushed.

God sees our weaknesses.. how many times have we broken His heart.. and yet, He is still there, drawing us back to Him.. the thought of Him being so faithful challenged me to love Him more..


How deep the Father's Love for Us - this song reminds me how wide, how long, how high, and how deep Daddy's love is, although I may never fully understand it..

How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turned His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon the cross
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers
I was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His reward
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds has paid my ransom...

MY SHOES!!!!!!!

Oh Lord.. have mercy on my pair of B.U.M. equipment shoes.. it misses its owner.. that is ME!!

The song that is on my mind now....

My BUMMY.. (My Boney)
Verse
My BUMMY lives outside of my room..
My BUMMY walks me to classes..
My BUMMY is so comfortable..
Oh, bring back my BUMMY to me..

Chorus
Bring back.. Oh bring back..
Oh bring back MY BUMMY to me... to me...
Bring back.. Oh bring back..
Oh bring back MY BUMMY to me..

Gosh.. realised my shoes are gone this morning when I was about to leave my room... shucks.. who is this fella who stole my shoes???!!!

Fella,
Why la u steal my BUMMY.. go n get one for urself la.. itz not expensive pun.. somemore it stinks (oops... I mean, it doesn't look very canggih-manggih). Please la return them to me.. please... =/

When The Tears Fall...

I've had questions, without answers
I've known sorrow, I have known pain
But there's one thing, that I'll cling to
You are faithful, Jesus You're true

When hope is lost, I'll call You Savior
When pain surrounds, I'll call You Healer
When silence falls, You'll be the song within my heart

In the lone hour of my sorrow
Through the darkest night of my soul
You surround me and sustain me
My Defender, forevermore

I will praise You, I will praise You
When the tears fall, still I will sing to You
I will praise You, Jesus praise You
Through the suffering still I will sing


This song.. one of the songs we sang during the WI concert.. Sth in the song that resonates with what I feel, what I am going thru'.

When my tears fall....
He felt every tear drop in darkness I cried....

Some thoughts..

My brain has been busy doing some thinking lately.(some of u might be thinking -- "really ar... ?").

A lot of things on my mind are waiting for me to process....

Item no. 1
I have always got what I want from my parents, compared to the rest of my siblings. Things like school trips when I was in primary school, some gadgets like my 'new found friend' and other stuff la.. as long as they feel that they can afford it.. Itz true, it does speak of sth.. sth from them towards me. Perhaps, I have been taking them and all these things for granted..

Item no. 2
That issue I m facing lately --- a decision to make...

Item no. 3
The smses from a friend --- I think itz a door for me to 'leaving my past behind'. I remembered what I shared with my 'family' when I was in CampCam -- 'close the old chapter...'
I thank God, for such a time to kind of like settle this problem.

Item no. 4
Why am I here? Why am I doing what I m doing? Itz not that I m confused or what. Itz just that I need to know what I m doing so that I wont lose focus.

Item no. 5
My studies.

Item no. 6, 7, 8,.........................., n
Dunno what else, but I feel that there are some stuff on my mind la, just that I haven't found out what are they.

Whatever those things are... the most important thing is to ... seek first the Kingdom of God....!!

Well, gtg for my cytogenetics class..

Wordilicious Investigators Day!

Hmm, a few of the nerinuts gathered at YMCA KL for WI -- Realnut, Purenut @ grandma Mozzie(well, anyhow they have to be there, hehe), lamenut, coconut @ sunat(ooopss... itz sunUt), papa lunutic, and mama jianut la.. Itz was such a great joy to meet suyen and sweekit. Tahulah, I m in KL, and both of them are up north sana.. so seldom that we get to meet each other.

Hmm, I met Ruth and Apostle Paul today, plus Naomi, Boaz... oh.. plus John the Baptist, Jonah, Nehemiah, .... funny-nya.

Indeed, God is awesome! This morning the haze was still there. But the haze cabut-ed.. and we had a clear blue sky today and we could enjoy the carnival to the max. =p .. haha.. Praise the Lord!!

There's one thing that spoke to me so strongly, besides 'to be serious with the studying of the Word of God'. When 'Apostle Paul' was speaking.. this verse kinda struck me.. "Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted."(Gal 6:1).

A reminder to me -- always check and INVESTIGATE my heart.. like what we read in Psalm 139:23-24(The Msg)

"Investigate my life, O God,
find out everything about me;
Cross-examine and test me,
get a clear picture of what I'm about;
See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong—
then guide me on the road to eternal life."

Well, I really enjoyed myself in WI, playing some pretty lame but Bible-related games.. haha..

Found this in the WI program sheet. Itz true..."we wish it would never end but..."


~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The end ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


SO.. the issue is back on my mind again. I use the word 'again' coz I wasn't thinking about it during WI.

By the end of WI.. it came back to my mind. I was thinking why does it has to be like that..

I m not angry.. I am just a bit perplexed la.. why does it has to be like that. What went wrong?

I m thinking about it.. can hardly help myself. I need to sort some things out, but now my mind is having another traffic jam.

Psalm 139:23-24. My prayer. Friends, dun care whether you know what's the problem, pls pray for me, that He will help me to see.. help me to discern.. that I will be humble and willing to listen n to learn from Him.. that I will be sensitive to the Spirit's leading.

Thanx a lot! = )

DAD, YOUR will? my will?

Show us the ancient paths
Lead us along eternal highways
We want to walk
In the ways of Jesus
We want to enter Your rest

Show us the ancient paths
Lead us along eternal highways
We want to follow
The footsteps of Jesus
We want to enter Your rest


This song really spoke to me..

I want to walk in His ways..

I want to follow His footsteps..

I want to enter His rest..


Read this from somewhere...
"God's purposes for our lives were established even before our conception. In Jeremiah 1:5, the prophet was told that God had drawn up his blue-prints long ago and set him aside for this predetermined purpose. This is the meaning of the words in 6:16 where it is written, "Thus says the Lord, 'Stand by the way and see and ask for the ANCIENT PATHS. Where the good way is, and you will find rest for your soul.'"
This is not some esoteric spiritual technique out of the past, that if we discover it, all our problems will be solved. The ancient paths are those which God intended for each of us since ancient times. The path is ancient in its inception, but current as every breath we take today. This is why Yeshua quotes part of that passage in Matthew 11:28-30. He proclaims that in coming to Him and taking on His yoke, we would find rest for our souls. Too often we carry burdens and walk down paths that are not ours. If He truly is our master, we can ask and trust that He will show us those ancient paths. "


Many a times, we find ourselves asking the question -- Is this God's will????

It kinda dawned to me that itz not so much about asking God to give me a clear answer as I seek His will. Itz not so much about asking God -- "Option A or B; Left or rigth; yada yada....".

I think as we seek His will, we humble ourselves and commit oursleves to Him. I think itz that kind of willingness of letting God to use you in accordance to His will that matters most to Him. The Obedience. The desire to please Him.

As we grow in our relationship with our Heavenly Father, we are able to see a bigger picture of His will for us, although itz not the whole picture yet. =P

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight..
Prov 3:6

Well, gtg for cell group.. make lanterns wor..

Garfield~

Hahaha.. it never crossed my mind until last night when I was busy going my Psychology assignment which is due tmrow....

I was talking to myself... wow, my inner voice.. hahaha

"Hmm, I have never searched Garfield online..."

"Oh.. ya lor.. Why ar? I thought you are very semangat Garfield one"

"WEll, memang I very semangat Garfield. I have Garfield pillow that teman me tidur. I have Garfield t-shirt. I used to have a Garfield stationary set. I have a Garfield head at home, which I forgot to bring to PJ. I have Garfield glass... What else?"

"Wow.. I m so impressed, Jia."

"Hmm.. Garfield has been my cekap cat since I was in primary school.. till now.."

The conversation continued on my mind..

I shall stop here n proceed to my probability class.

The WOrd became flesh!

October 2
Ed Young Ministries Weekly Devotional

The Passion - Like Jesus
by Ed Young

The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. John 1:14

Whether they are traveling through a small farming town in Nebraska, a surfing village in California or an industrial community in Pennsylvania, politicians love to show how they can relate to the people in that area. But the sad thing is that they can't really meet those people on the same level; they can't identify with them no matter how hard they try to make it appear like they can.

Jesus, though, never gives us that illusion of identity. He doesn't throw up a facade to try and appear like he gets where we are coming from. Jesus Christ connected with the people of two thousand years ago, and he connects with you and me today on a level that we can understand and appreciate.

At one point we've all said, "No one understands my situation." But that statement could not be farther from the truth. Jesus understands; he's been there; he knows what we go through day in and day out. He had a job - for most of his life he was a carpenter. He had the same relationships that you and I have today - mother, father, brothers, sister, friends, and enemies. He even faced the same temptations that you and I face. Jesus knows what daily living is like. He knows because he's been there himself.

So this week, when you feel like there is no one that can grasp what you are going through; when you feel like throwing up your hands and giving up; when you have that gut reaction of, "No one understands my situation..." remember that our Savior has been there and then add two words to your statement: "Like Jesus."

~~~~

What strikes me the most is the bible verse--The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. The Message version puts it like this -- The Word became flesh and blood, and moved into the neighborhood.

A question that hits me -- am I walking my talk?

Looking forward to Wordilicious Investigators Day that will be held this Saturday at YMCA KL. A call to RETURN.. A call to OBEY.. A call to celebrate the WORD!