more randomz stuff

This morning.....
I am reminded of this....

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened,
and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,
for I am gentle and humble in heart,
and you will find rest for your souls.
For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Matthew 11:28-30

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Last night, I had a good time talking and laughing. Hmm.. I really needed it, before I go nutz teruk-teruk. =) Some usual chit-chatting.. but it really challenged me to trust God in all things. ALL.

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Once, I was addicted to online chess.
Now, I am addicted to facebook Sudoku. Help me ar!

ooouchh...

nice sunset. spent some time thinking about something. and realized that i have always been wanting this, wanting that; wanting more of this, and wanting more of that; complaining about this, complaining about that; crying over this, crying over that; sighing about this, sighing about that... teruknya aku ni...

The LORD is my shepherd,
I shall not be in want.

oh well.. HE is knocking some sense into my head...
*ooouchh...*

another 3 more papers to go. praying hard that things will be ok. one-of-a-kind mood doesn't help in studying. oh boy...

I am back from PoT's. The time spent there was truly a wonderful experience and I really learned a lot from the speakers, my friends, my Small Group and Buzz Group members and etc. Hmm oh yeah, one of the best things in PoT's was the super cekap scenery. Erm, we took quite a number of pictures (i am a vain PoT, so do some of them. what to do?).

Well, some parts of the conference weren't easy for me. Things which I need to look into. Struggles. Past hurts and regrets. Broken heart. Shattered dreams...

The sessions reminded me a lot of things. It has helped me to once again look at the reason why 'teaching' was in the list some time ago. Hmm, there are other things which God spoke to me through people during the conference and I really thank God for it. Erm, I shall call those things 'a pleasant surprise which is kinda scary at the same time'. =)

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A heart that truly wants to bring healing and wholeness to many broken lives...

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PoT's 2007
From Jonah to Nehemiah

Oh ya, I am going back to Ipoh tomorrow morning! Yay!!

God's WAY is to REVEAL AS WE WALK.

We were looking at the pine cones on one evening. You picked up one and said...

"... unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies,
it remains only a single seed.
But if it dies,
it produces many seeds ..."

Yo, finally I am only left with one assignment. But this assignment is enough to kill me to the max. Individual assignment, 40%, have to do in BM somemore! I only have another 10 days to complete the assignment and I have barely started. Well, I have to minus the weekend so actually I am left with only one week or so. Die? I don't care la! Let me have my cekap weekend first!

This week has been pretty hectic huh. Many things are going on. Meetings. Bible Quiz. Makan time. Lepak time(but meaningful, k?). Classes. Assignments. Oh yeah, after so many months of 'hard work' finally I had my 8 hours of beauty sleep. Haha!

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Man looks at the outward but God looks at the heart. Well, I believe that God will raise up leaders after His own heart ~ Leaders who will guide the people with knowledge and understanding.

The Joy of the Lord is your strength!

Those who plant in tears
will harvest with shouts of joy.

They weep as they go to plant their seed,
but they sing as they return with the harvest.

Psalm 126:5-6 (NLT)

Many things on my mind. Hmm, but I thank God for those 'many things'. Never mind if you don't understand what I am saying. Haha. =)

If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.
Emily Dickinson

I shall not live in vain.

Help me to see things the way YOU see it,
and that I will not lean on my own understanding.

Really.

amazed

"... let all My words sink deep into your own heart first. Listen to them carefully for yourself.."
Eze 3:10(NLT)

A lot of things on mind, as usual la. The stuff about my room and the problem of not having enough sleep -- never mind, I will just have to adapt to it. But as I reflect on different things, I really thank God that He's there with me and for me. These few days -- well, I have been kinda busy but it was meaningful in a way. Spending time alone in my lala world with God. Meaningful conversations with different people. The satisfaction of finishing a few parts of the many assignments(but there's still a lot more to go!). Learning to see things in a different way. Sharing some thoughts with different people.

Although sometimes my heart will suddenly sink.. but then.. it kinda reminds me of how much I needed God, that I really got to trust in Him and not to lean on my own understanding.

Indeed, how marvelous, how wonderful is my Saviour's love for me!

50-50

Wordilicious Investigators. 9am-6pm. The Book of Jeremiah. God's Eternal Purpose. The Heart of the Prophet Jeremiah. The Prevailing Situation. The Inevitable Judgment of God. The New Covenant-the Restoration and Renewal.

I don't think it's coincidence that the same things appeared twice in 2 different messages at 2 different occasions. What really matters. The reverential fear of God. Obedience. King Solomon. Thank God for unanswered prayers. I was also reminded of the things I learned from Nicodemus' and the Samaritan woman's encounter with Jesus during the Encounter with Jesus Bible Study some weeks ago. At the end of the WI, this thing stuck on my mind ~ to love the people and build them up.

I always use the word 'broken-hearted' on myself. I don't know how to describe what I felt and am feeling when I heard the word being used to describe how God felt towards His people who repeatedly disobeyed Him.

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. I mean A LOT. The stuff about churches and Christians nowadays pushes me to think even more. It's like a constant debate happening within myself. Of course, there are some other things which are on my mind. They kinda keep my mind moving and working. Hehe.

A question for myself ~ Am I willing to be like Jeremiah, a Lulu for God?

Hmm, something good happened and I thank God for it. I am feeling 50% happy and 50% guilty. I pray that things will be ok back there because I won't be around during that time. 'Tonnes' of tears were shed for her(and for the both of us) since some time ago. It's complicated, believe me. Hope that I can tell her how much I love her. Oh well...

something of this and that

God is faithful and He preserves His people

We met the HEP officer today. My heart kind of like 'stopped' when he said that he is not against activities which are to strengthen our beliefs and that he allows us to have weekly meetings until further notice. I couldn't believe my ears when he said that. And in my heart, I was like "It's You, Lord!! It's Your work in our midst and even in Mr. A! Thank you, Lord. Thank you!!". Indeed, God works in mysterious ways which we can never fathom. =)

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Curently listening to a compilation CD of songs by HK singer, Sammi Cheng(she is my fav since my primary school days wei). Aha, those were the days when kids will go crazy over celebrities, spend money on cassettes and CDs, collect pictures and newspaper cuttings on anything about that person, decorate bedroom and files with that person's posters... yada yada... I don't know about you but that's what I did la. Oh, but I didn't spend much on CDs coz those were presents from my friends. Hehe.

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Oh well, after such a long time... finally I got the chance to walk and run in the rain. Weee... no choice la. I know it's gila but.. It's super fun lar~~ All sort of funny stuff happened over the past few weeks(or 'months', I can't remember la) and I have concluded that such bizarre things only happen during my uni days.

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Aww... last week at this time we were at Colmar Tropicale... I miss Bukit Tinggi ler. I wanna go there again!!!

slow to learn

You are my strength
Strength like no other
Strength like no other
Reaches to me

You are my hope
Hope like no other
Hope like no other
Reaches to me

In the fullness of Your grace
In the power of Your Name
You lift me up
You lift me up

Unfailing love
Stronger than mountains
Deeper than oceans
Reaches to me

Your love O Lord
Reaches to the heavens
Your faithfulness
Reaches to the skies

You are my Strength, Reuben Morgan

I know that I need to struggle with God over some things. Well, what to do... The Heart is Slow to Learn...

50th Merdeka celebration!! We thought we can see some fireworks during last night's Merdeka celebration in campus. Haiyo, forget about it la. Well, I am super looking forward to this weekend's Merdeka outing. Muahahahaha...

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I kinda saw this coming. I am feeling a bit anxious and scared and blah blah blah as it began to sink in to me. Oh well, but then this thing struck my mind .....

Trust in the LORD with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.
Prov 3:5-6

traumatised

I haven't come out from that traumatic experience. And I just found out about this 'hidden' part of me not too long ago.

With the latest news I just received from home... and as I looked back at this and that... then only I realised how affected I actually am by the whole incident that took place last year.

I'm feeling the pain right now... for all that happened and is happening.

They need You, Lord.

so do I.

something good.

It was a good meeting.

Hmm, I wanna tell you guys(you know who you are la)... Thank you so much for allowing me to express myself and show you my true colours *ahem*. Erm, I am amazed la to see how God worked in us, how we have walked together and helped each other along the way to reach where we are today... Well, the feeling is kinda beyond description. *weee...*

Stripey and Orangey

There is a spiderweb at the bottom right corner of the window which is directly in front of my table. I don't bother to get rid of it, even until now. Something interesting happened just now and I felt like blogging about it although it may not be something significant but somehow I felt one kind about the whole process. A butterfly-liked insect -- black wings with white dots, body with black-yellow stripes, its length is about 1++cm, with 6 appendages and 2 antenna(duh, it's an insects whattt...) is trapped in the spiderweb. The spider - super tiny, body length is about 0.3cm, orange in colour.

By now, you may be wondering why on earth am I telling you this incident. Aha, at this point of time I still don't know why. The butterfly-liked insect, I named it as Stripey and the spider, Orangey. Stripey was struggling to get out from the spiderweb but all its appendages, the wings were stuck to the sticky substances of the web. Well, take a look at our lives... whether we like it or not, some parts of our lives are still stuck to some past hurts and experiences we have had, and we are struggling to get out of it.

I thought of helping Stripey to get out from the web. But then, here comes the tiny Orangey, crawling here and there over Stripey and its capture web. I know Stripey is gonna die there if I don't take any action because Orangey will immobilize Stripey with poison injected into it through the fang-liked chelicerae and secret enzymes to digest it externally. In life, there will be things or people(well, they may be doing it consciously or subconsciously) who will somehow inflict pains upon us, and to eat us up.

I didn't help Stripey to get out from the web. Why? It's because I feel that this is one of the causes of nature. The predator and the prey. Someone will have to be a predator, and someone will have to be a prey. Orangey is very efficient in its task. With some cutting and secreting of silk strands, it moved Stripey to another corner of its capture web.

I checked the spiderweb again just now. Stripey is not moving anymore. It's not struggling anymore.

I was thinking - Am I being sadistic for I was there looking at Stripey struggling to get out from the web, looking at how Orangey celebrating over its prey and yet I take no action about it? Am I being cruel to say that all these have to happen just because this is how the nature functions?

I thank God that I am not god. For God will surely give us a hand and help us out from the struggles we are facing. And the problem with us is that at times we want to get out from those struggles on our own strength, refusing to allow Him to help us and work in us.

What a lesson I learned from Stripey and Orangey!

..to Him

God places His saints where they will bring the most glory to Him, and we are totally incapable of judging where that may be. taken from My Utmost for His Highest

Indeed, like what I read in Isa 50:4 ... Morning by morning He wakens me and opens my understanding to His will.

I am Your servant come to bring You glory
As is fit for the work of Your hands

in my heart

I am thinking....

How I can make full use of my talent(s) *erm... if there's any. Oh God, please help me to discover them* and at the same time allowing and helping others to do the same. =)

Enlighten me, will (Y)ou?

Saturday night!

I was reading some old emails I received and some things I wrote somewhere some time ago. It brought me back to those days when I struggled like hell to get over some problems. Some of the problems still exist and they still bug me once in a while. Reading back those emails and writings reminded me that all things are in the hands of God, that He has only my good at heart. And that He has redeemed me and is in control of everything - your past, present, and future. *Although this may sound a bit inhumane to some, as if you are a puppet... yada yada...*

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I have a Maker
He formed my heart
Before even time began
My life was in His hands

He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And He hears me when I call

I have a Father
He calls me His own
He'll never leave me
No matter where I go
*

Haih, sometimes I just couldn't understand how I can be so darn stubborn. Worse than a cow(don't ask me "why cow?"). It hit me real hard that I love myself more than I love the people around me, that in some areas of life I love myself more than I love God, and that I am resisting His ways and works in those areas. Oh well, I always feel that I am a Jonah.

I got so fed up thinking about those dreams and ambitions I once had, feeling frustrated and angry over it because they are nowhere near me. Darn, can't I see and will I not understand that LIFE is NOT always about what I want, my dreams, my goals...??!! *Come on, Jiahui... Gotta drill this into your head and heart!!!!!*

Shouldn't my goal be 'listening to God's heart and living life His way'? Shouldn't my goal be loving God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength? Shouldn't my goal be loving my neighbour as myself?

Am I willing?
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Answer me, WJH!
Answer me!!