Late at night.. Early in the morning..

Der.. I lost my ori post.. now I have to type again..


Dunno..

Crap..

She tries not to post something negative.. something depressing..

She needs to be true to myself..

This is the place where she can express herself..

She doesn't care who is the person reading her blog, doesn't care if she knows that person or not..

If you find her blog depressing.. then don't read la.. she doesn't bother..

**
A different girl in front of people and in front of the computer..

In front of people.. she looks OK..

In front of the computer.. she can get very depressed at times..

Is she putting up a mask in front of people?

Which is the real her? The one you know personally? Or the one you know thru' her blog?

She is confused..

Dual personality....?

**
Sometimes she will wonder..
Of what value is all the effort she has put in for this week's effort at visiting juniors?
She gets tired, becomes busier..

What or who is the one she is holding on to?


Well...
As I reflected on the things that happened to her..

I realised that she needs to constantly ask herself why is doing the things that she is doing now..

I realised that she needs to know, not just in her mind but also in her heart that all the things that she is doing - is not for her or the people around her.. itz for the mighty God she serves..

I realised that she needs to know she is not just working for God.. but with God..

I realised that she has kinda lost focus on her priorities..

Does she find joy in doing what she is doing now?

Yes, she does..

But the tiredness is putting her at the egde of letting go and forgetting about it.. robbing that joy away from her..

Is it that she is not able to commit?

Nope.. she is willing..
**


Yup... I need to make peace with Him.. laying down everything at the feet of His throne..

I need to learn to draw strength from Him..

I need to learn to rely on Him..

I need to trust Him more and more..

I need His touch..

I need His healing.. His redemptive power..

I need to be still.. know that He is God..


Tak ku sangka..
kutemukan satu kasih yang abadi

Memandang wajarMu
Mengikuti kebaikanMu
Mengejar hadirMu
Di dalam hidupku
Membawa sembahku
Menyatakan kebesaranMu
Mengejar hadirMu
Di dalam hidupku